（続き）
The music used for the slides was
LostDrone
The Ships Are Here (Free download and Creative Commons)
SoundCloud
I sleep poorly and wake up many times during the night; I go to bed after 9pm and wake up before 5am. This may be why I feel sleepy in the morning.
I usually don't take morning or afternoon naps for fear of creating a vicious circle.
On this day, I couldn't help feeling sleepy, so I lay down for about 40 minutes after 10am.
When I woke up and looked at the clock, it was not yet 11am.
For some reason, I thought there was someone in the house.
Naturally, nobody was there. All the people I felt like I had met in my half-awake state were not in the world.
I remember the sketch sessions at Meriken Wharf that I used to attend every year when I was in primary school. The form has changed, but it seems to be still going on.
In the old days, the Meriken Wharf had a passage boat to ships waiting offshore, a harbour cruise boat of the same type, and a barge pool. The water was dirty and there was a lot of rubbish floating between the small boats.
I have never won a prize in the harbour sketching competition. I can't remember what I drew, but what I always stared at when I went to the sketch sessions was a fender made from old tyres and rope. The way they rubbed against the quay was just terrifying.
Who did I go to the sketching sessions with? Perhaps my mother took me, but I don't remember. If I was with my mother, my two younger sister would have been there too, but I have no memory of her.
A junior high school student could have walked there alone. Or perhaps I went alone, because my uncle was in the waiting room of the passage boat. If one wanted to spend a holiday without spending a lot of money, going to the waterfront or to the water source was the standard way to go.
But all this is a long time ago.
I was an obsessive schoolchild who, when looking at ships and harbours, was drawn to a small part of them rather than the whole, and even now, that hasn't changed a bit.
I used to be bothered by the red lips and the gap between the head and the body of this doll, but once I got used to seeing it, I found it attractive again, which I might say is somewhat of a change.
眠りが浅く、夜中に何度も目が覚める。９時過ぎにベッドへ入り、起床は５時前。その為か、午前中に無性に眠くなる。
普段は悪循環になるのを恐れ、朝寝や昼寝はしないのだが。
この日は、どうしても眠くなり、１０時過ぎから４０分ばかり横になった。
起きて時計をみると１１時には未だなっていない。
何故か家の中に誰かいるような気がしたのだが。
当然ながら誰もいない。半覚醒の中で会ったような気持ちになっていた人は皆、この世にはいない。
小学生の時に、毎年参加していたメリケン波止場での写生会のことを思い出す。形は変わってしまったが、今も続いているらしい。
昔のメリケン波止場には、沖待ちの船へ向かう通船と、それと同型の港巡りの遊覧船、そして艀溜まりがあった。水は汚れていて、小さな船と船の間には、ゴミが一杯浮いていた。
港の写生会で、私は一度も入選したことがない。何を描いたのか思い出せないが、写生会に行っていつも食い入るように見つめていたのは、古タイヤやロープで作られた防舷材だった。それが、岸壁と擦れ合う様が、ただ恐ろしかった。
写生会に誰と行ったのか。多分、母が連れて行ってくれたのだろうが、記憶が無い。母と一緒なら、二つ下の妹もいるはずだが、そんな記憶は一切残っていない。
中学生なら、一人で歩いて行ける距離。叔父が通船待合室にいたから、或いは一人で行ったのだろうか。お金を掛けずに休みを過ごすのなら、波止場へ行くか水源地へ行くかが定番だった。
しかし、全て遠い昔のことだ。
船や港を眺めても、全体ではなく、ほんの一部分に気持ちが引き寄せられる拘りの強い小学生だった私は、今も、少しも変わらない。
この人形の、唇の赤さ、頭部とボディとの接続部分に隙間があるのが気になっていたのだが、見慣れてしまうと、それがまた魅力にも思えてくるのは、幾らかの変化だと言えるのかもしれないが。
