（続き）
The music used for the slides was
Night Note
View From The Window
SoundCloud
Dusky pink and white lace. It's like sugar candy, I think.
But what is the overused metaphor ‘sugar confectionery’? Confectionery and sugar are supposed to be inseparable. My delusion that because they deliberately use the word ‘sugar’, they must be something special, was somewhat disillusioned when I found out that they are a generic term for confectioneries that use sugar as their main ingredient.
Not only Western confectioneries such as candy, caramel and chocolate, but also Japanese confectioneries such as rakugan and wasanbon are said to be lumped together as ‘sugar confectioneries’.
However, in my own imagination, I think that ‘sugar confectionery’ is something light to the touch, like meringue lightly hardened, like light snow that disappears as soon as it is put in the mouth. It resembles a small macaron, but looks like a small slice of cake coated all over with powdered sugar. Imagining such a thing, I thought of this doll today as looking like a piece of sugar candy.
Some women actually wear these outfits and go out in public. Even in the local minor private railways I use, I see women in dresses inflated with panniers.
Immediately after thinking that I wouldn't have the courage to do so, it suddenly occurred to me that this might be a kind of battle dress. The curious looks that are directed at them may not all be of a favourable nature. It is difficult to go out in public without a firm will to meet cynical eyes head-on and repel them. The costume is like a sugar candy, but it would be impossible to actually wear it and go out in front of an unspecified number of people with a naive and fragile heart.
I should have stated that I don't have the courage to do so, but I should have stated that I am a coward who can't face people.
ダスキーピンクと白いレース。まるで砂糖菓子のようだと思う。
しかし、使い古された比喩である「砂糖菓子」とは、どんなものなのか。菓子と砂糖は不可分のはず。わざわざ「砂糖」を冠するのだから、それは特別なものに違いないという妄想は、調べてみた結果、砂糖を主原料とする菓子の総称と知り、いささか幻滅した思いに囚われた。
あめ・キャラメル、チョコレートなど洋菓子のみならず、落雁や和三盆等の和菓子も、「砂糖菓子」として一括りになるそうだ。
しかし、私の勝手な妄想では、メレンゲが軽く固まったような軽い触感の、口の中に入れてすぐに消えてしまう淡雪のようなものが「砂糖菓子」だと考える。小さなマカロンのような感じだが、粉砂糖が一杯に塗されている小さなケーキの一切れのような姿。そんなものを想像しながら、今日のこの人形は、まるで砂糖菓子のような姿だと考えていた。
こんな衣装を実際に来て、人前に出る女性もいる。私の利用するローカル中小私鉄車内ですら、パニエで膨らませたドレス姿の女性を見かけるのだが。
私には、そんな勇気はないなと思った直後に、ふと、これは一種の戦闘服なのかもしれないと考えた。向けられる好奇の眼差しは、好意のものばかりではないだろう。冷笑的な人の目を、真正面から受け止め、撥ね付けるような確固たる意志が無ければ、人前に出ていくのは難しい。砂糖菓子のような衣装だが、それを実際に身に着け、不特定多数の人前に出かけるのは、甘っちょろい脆弱な心根では不可能だろう。
私には、そんな勇気はないと記したが、人と対峙することが出来ない腰抜けだと記すべきだった。
