(続き)
The music used for the slides was
Purrple Cat
Echoes Of Yesterday
SoundCloud
Last month I had relatively many opportunities to meet people. However, perhaps as a reaction to that, I haven't had a conversation with anyone for a whole month since the last time I met my daughter.
Thanking the checkout lady at the supermarket is not a conversation.
The only time I said two or three words was to my cat, after all. The cat seems to understand human language, but I cannot understand what the cat is saying. I am imagining and trying to string words together. I consider it the equivalent of a conversation, but if I judge it as normal, it is just talking to myself. As long as there is no conversation with others, the function of verbal exchange has, in my case, ceased.
It has been a long time since I have photographed this head.
The head has not changed in any particular way, but the body, which I bought as a set, is still sitting in the chair, covered with a white sheet. Once I had it repaired by a workshop, but at the stage of the repair request I was warned that even if it was repaired, it might tear, perhaps from another part of the body. In the end, they were right and I had to give up moving it.
The damaged body will last appear in the article 'The Realm of the Morning Sleeper Girl' of 6 November 2022.
Something I still cherish, even though it was broken.
The camera I gave this doll to hold no longer works. I bought it over 40 years ago.
I bought it after I got married and took pictures of my wife and my daughter when she was little. There is also a photo of my wife and I taken with a self-timer. We were both young and I can only think that there was a time when we were like this.
I once tried to send my camera in for repair when the shutter stopped working. However, following the recommendation that it was better to buy a new one than to repair it, I bought a new model. However, after some years, it stopped working as well.
Eventually, the silver halide film would run out and I moved on to a digital camera. However, I no longer wanted to take photographs. My adolescent daughter lost her smile and did not like having a camera pointed at her. My wife, too, endured my father's unreserved pointing of the camera at her.
I cannot throw away things that no longer work.
I know it will only bother my daughter after my death.
先月は人と出会う機会が比較的多かった。しかし、その反動なのか、娘と会ったのが最後、丸ひと月、人との会話が無い。
スーパーマーケットでレジのお姉さんに礼を言うのは、会話ではない。
二言三言、言葉を発したのは、結局、飼い猫に対してのみ。猫は人語を解しているようだが、私は、猫が何を言っているのか分からない。想像しながら、言葉を繋いでいる。それを会話に準ずるものと考えるが、普通に判断すれば、独り言に過ぎない。人との会話が無い以上、言葉の遣り取りの機能は、私の場合、停止している。
久しぶりに、このヘッドを撮影した。
ヘッドには特に変化はないが、セット購入したボディは、白いシーツで覆って椅子に座らせたままになっている。一度、工房に依頼して修理してもらったのだが、修理依頼の段階で、直しても別の個所から裂けてくるかもしれないことは警告されていた。結局は、その通りとなり、動かすことを諦めるしかなかった。
傷ついたボディが登場するのは2022年11月6日の記事'The Realm of the Morning Sleeper Girl'が最後となる。
壊れてしまったのに、今でも大切しているもの。
この人形に持たせたカメラも、もう動かない。購入したのは40年以上も前。
結婚後購入し、妻を写し、娘の小さい頃を写した。セルフタイマーで撮った妻と私の写真もある。二人とも若くて、こんな頃があったのだと思うしかない。
カメラのシャッターが下りなくなって、一度修理に出そうとしたことがあった。しかし、修理するよりも新しいものを買う方が良いという勧めに従って、新しい機種を購入した。しかし、それも何年かして、同じように動かなくなった。
その内に、銀塩フィルムが無くなるとのことで、デジタルカメラへ移る。しかし、写真を撮ろうとは、もう思わなくなっていた。思春期の娘は、笑顔を失い、カメラを向けられるのを嫌がった。妻も、私の父が無遠慮にカメラを向けるのを堪えていた。
動かなくなったものを捨てられない。
私の死後、娘の手を煩わせるだけだと分かっているのに。